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Solving Problems by Adding More Lieutenants: The Army Way



This week on What a Hell of a Way to Die, Nate and Francis discuss the brand new way of fucking up our overseas presence by charging even more for the pleasure of having American troops getting drunk all over their cultural landmarks.


The current administration has the bright idea of charging host countries cost +50% to keep us around. The question then becomes should we even be around the world? Would anyone pay for the privilege of having eighteen year old Americans getting trashed and running over the locals in the name of safety? More likely not, but who can tell. Perhaps Italy has gotten used to us and feel they just won't be safe without a few thousand airborne troops.

A better idea would be to integrate our training with the local military bases, which lets them maintain their sovereignty and military control while also letting the Americans go home afterwards, but that doesn't play super well into the global hegemony or the people who make that sweet contractor money.

We also discuss the Army's plan to place lieutenants in as leaders for basic training platoons to free up all that planning time the drill sergeants are wasted on so they can focus on really warming up their yelling vocals and researching ways to make fun of recruit's names.

Look, I can't imagine many situations in which injecting a lieutenant has been useful or helpful. Also, are we just so awash with baby officers that we have nothing better to do than to make them spend 12 months at Ft. Benning setting up ranges for privates. It seems like a bad time and a waste of everyone's time, which is about right for the Army.

For this week’s bonus, Francis and Cynthia discuss the Lion King, live-action remakes of Disney movies, and much more — to include a surprise defense of Scar. Get it on Patreon here:

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You can follow the show on Twitter here: @HellOfAWay Follow Nate here: @inthesedeserts Follow Francis here: @ArmyStrang


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