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Almost a Soldier



This week, the team discusses a surprisingly common occurrence in the land of the civilians when meeting a troop: Explaining why they didn't join.


I'm going to tell you now that personally, I don't care if you didn't join. I don't lay any judgement for or against you when I discover someone didn't join the Army. I don't do it when people tell me they did either. I've meet more than my fair share of assholes in green.

What you don't do is go watch the latest multi-million dollar military summer blockbuster at the multiplex and then have a midlife crisis about it.


I swear, every time there's some epic WWII movie with more budget than some wars we've been in hits the theaters, there's a million dudes wishing they could have tested their mettle with the Greatest Generation by being forced into service and having their intestines spread across France. The fact that you and your generation wasn't conscripted to fight Nazis for years on end is a good thing. I would rather softness than the shores of Normandy.

It's not all philosophy professors. This week we also talked about the NRA and their insane videos that threaten journalists and talk about the rising tide of Black Lives Matter getting ready to kill all the white people. Somehow South Africa gets roped into it as well as some haven of white genocide. This comes courtesy of NRA TV host Grant Stinchfield, who has finally stopped the racist dog whistling and went with actual racism to sell guns to scared white people.

He has also never served, but wishes he did.


Alex Horton, who Stinchfield targeted by name in his commercial, is in fact a Veteran. Grant respects the hell out of him while also telling him to watch his back.

Finally, we have the politician who is scrambling to explain why military service wasn't one of the avenues they went with to move up the political ranks. Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House communications director, made a fumbling play when someone asked why he never served.


Guys, it's ok. Service isn't for everyone. You make shit money, you work too hard and the situations the military puts you in are incredibly dangerous. Just say it wasn't your calling. Stop trying to explain it away, because half the time, you're just going to step on your own dick.

As for Stinchfield...



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